Online Dating: What to Say in a First Message

So you’re new to online dating or aren’t as successful as you’d like to be at the free online dating site you’ve chosen. Maybe it’s the first message that you’re sending when you make the connection. Here are some tips on what to say and what not to say. The words you choose are THAT important especially in your first message.

Don’t try to be cool by using bad grammar or text talk. Avoid words such as ur, r, u, ya, cant, hit, really, luv, wat. Netspeak really just doesn’t work with your first message or many messages there after. However, LOL and ha ha are acceptable. People like to see a sense of humor but they don’t generally like to find that someone may not know how to write or spell or that they talk in preteen language.

In your first note to the other person (and also several messages thereafter), don’t use words that describe them physically. Don’t tell them that they’re hot, beautiful, sexy, or a cutie. Use words such as awesome, fascinating, cool, and nice. The word “pretty” can be used but instead of saying “you’re pretty” use it in phrases such as pretty sure, pretty good, and pretty much.

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