Things I Learned on TV and the Movies

When talking on the phone, you don’t have to say good-bye. When you have all the information you want, just hang up. Even if the other person is your boss and he called you-and he isn’t finished talking-it’s okay, just hang up.

When you’re following someone and don’t want them to see you, you don’t have to hide. Park your car in plain sight about twenty feet from where they are standing, and when they come out they won’t spot you.

If someone is shooting at you with a machine gun or high-powered rifle, you can hide behind a bush or an empty garbage can and the bullets won’t penetrate. Alternatively, you can push someone in front of you (even a dead body) and that person will absorb the bullets, keeping you safe.

While hiding behind the empty garbage can, if four people are shooting at you with machine guns and you only have a pistol, you won’t be hurt. Wait for a lull in the firing, then leap up, close your eyes, and fire four quick shots. You’ll get them all.

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